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seasonsrpg2024-04-01 06:04 pm
urtitan) wrote in seasonsrpg2024-04-01 06:04 pm
Tarot: The World (Reversed)
WHO: Frieda Reiss
WHAT: Frieda is going through it (enormous struggle dump inside!)
WHEN: First half of April
WHERE: Abandoned Graveyard / Secret Getaway and other areas in the Seasonal Segments
WARNINGS: AoT-typical heavy topics - mention of genocide, murder, mental instability, violence, war, etc.
[Many things have been moving at a different pace for Frieda ever since she inherited the memories of her ancestors. This still holds true here in Ellipsa. On some days, she can live in the moment and enjoy spending time with her sister, the few friends she's made, and other people (neighbours, magic school classmates, vendors whose shops she's become a regular at), but on other days, everything she's learned about her homeworld's future since arriving here pulls her under and makes her ruminate for hours on end, lost between those new revelations and the painful history going back 2,000 years.
Lately, those days have become more and more common.]
1) Safe Zone: Mermaid Encounter
(OOC: Since a lot of Frieda's development is internal, I wanted to chronicle it, but as it's pure introspection, by all means skip ahead to the bottom of this humungous prompt if you'd like to!)
[Frieda's first month in Ellipsa was overshadowed by grief after she learned that in the not-too-far future, most of her family will be killed alongside herself. But eventually, her unbreakable inherited will helped her overcome that struggle. What of their deaths? All Eldians should die. It's only right if the royal family dies first. She accepted it, and with a calmer and clearer mind, she could finally focus on starting to unlock her magic and supporting the local ongoings, resolved to make the most of the time she had left.
However, her encounter with Eren, her unintended successor, made her question whether she wasn't too hasty to content herself with her fate.
Eren's resentment of how the truth was kept from the people of the Walls - doubtlessly shared by all of her subjects - made it clear that he doesn't want the Founding Titan to return into the royal family's hands, and Historia, Frieda's only surviving sibling, made it clear that she doesn't want to take it from her friend. In the future they experienced, the outside world failed to eradicate their people, "merely" breaking Wall Maria - which did cause thousands of deaths through its short- and mid-term consequences -, and everybody learned of the truths that the Reiss family hid for a century.
There will be no repeat of the 2 millennia of oppression by the Eldian Empire, given that Eren can't unlock the Founding Titan's full potential and the royal bloodline, should it regain possession of it, is prevented from doing so by the inherited vow, but the situation has nevertheless given Frieda many sleepless nights. In the face of the changed circumstances, her passive stance has started to shift.
I have to take the Founding Titan back from Eren. That's the first conclusion she arrives at. He told her that he'd never go home if he can help it, and she believes him - but what if he gets no say in the matter? What if he gets sent back to their homeworld against his will? It can happen. They both know that.
Much as the imperative to keep her people from becoming a threat to the world again dictates her decision, everything inside her recoils from it. She can't murder Eren! She couldn't murder anyone - not with her own hands, in any case. She knows all too well that all the blood her enforcers spilled within the Walls stains her hands nonetheless (and that of prior rulers' enforcers' victims, too, because she can't and won't exempt herself from bearing the sins of her ancestors). Eren is Historia's friend... What of it?, argues that reasonable voice inside of her, Historia is a disappointment for not acting in the best interest of humanity despite understanding our history. Who cares what she wants?
Frieda has to leave the apartment for longer and longer stretches of time, on occasion even hastily excusing herself to Historia to keep herself from angrily lashing out at her. Sometimes, she wants to grab and shake and even hit her for thinking that's it's acceptable for Eren to keep the Founding Titan. If you won't take it back for our family, I will! What are you even good for?! It takes all her strength to keep herself from attacking her own beloved sister like that, and when the urge eventually subsides, she's desolate each time.
However, after a while of agonising and trying to reason with different parts of herself, she manages to set aside the initial conclusion, for what is ultimately a very simple reason: If she took Eren's titan powers (most realistically by enlisting the services of an assassin, much as she does back home), he'd simply take them back from her once he'd be reborn into this world.
It's a given: Much as she doesn't want him to return home and resist the Eldian atonement plan, he doesn't want her to return and work towards its fulfillment either. For being ideological opponents, the two of them were reasonably cordial towards each other despite the palpable tension, but if she were to turn on him, he'd surely retaliate in kind. As it is, he holds the stronger position, having actual experience in using his titan's powers, and if he wanted to, he could already have taken hers. She mustn't disturb the current balance.
What can she do, then? Her silent internal struggle continues for days or weeks (she can't tell anymore, even though it's interspersed with uninterrupted stretches of normalcy and little joys - somehow!) until a realisation more bitter than anything prior dawns on her: There really is only one way to ensure that the Eldians of Paradis Island won't be a threat to the world anymore. If the outside world will fail to eradicate them, their ruler must do it.
He entire being refuses that solution. How could she possibly do that?! She can't even murder one person! All those innocent people..!! No! No!! But all Eldians must die. In her mind, she practically screams at the first king of the Walls. How dare you not finish what you started?! How dare you leave it to your successors? You couldn't do it because you loved your people? How do you think I feel?! But of course, there's only her own mind to answer her, and despite fighting against the resolution with all she has, she's drawn further down the path, exploring her practical options.
In that state, she can't bear the city. Even in quiet places, she may encounter people, and while they're not her subjects, she can't endure their innocent eyes on her, feeling beyond monstrous for what's going on in her head. As such, she takes to the safe zones in the Segments to find some solitude.
She avoids the cold Winter Segment - the watchtower is close to the city, and people pass by there with relative frequency. Likewise, the Temple of Life in the Summer Segment is intermittently frequented by people coming to gather fruits or tackle the video game simulator inside. The waters of Ellipsa have provided an embrace and escape for her ever since her arrival, and so, she can ultimately be encountered in mermaid form, resting at the bottom of the Secret Getaway's lake-pond or on the safe side of the iron fence separating the Autumn Segment's flooded graveyard from the monster-infested wilderness.
It's unlikely that anyone else would dive in either body of water, but who knows! If she doesn't encounter anyone in the depths, then at some point, when she finally feels like herself again, having battled the mental images of death and suffering away for the day, she has to exit the water, and perhaps it's then that she and the other person visiting the safe area startle each other through her sudden appearance on the water's surface. Whether underwater or above, she'll call out in the same way.]
Oh..! I'm sorry, you scared me!
[She says that as if she isn't the weird one for popping out of a place that's definitely not a designated swimming area!]
2) Unsafe Zone: Titan Encounter
(OOC: Feel free to choose the Segment, otherwise I'll use an RNG!)
[In the end, Frieda manages to stabilise herself to a degree by resolving to do what Eren decided: To never return home. It's painful to imagine that she'll never see her family - safe for Historia - and other dearly beloved people again, but she simply can't abide the thought of having to complete what her ancestor wasn't able to even begin. She'll rather follow her successor's example and remove the Founding Titan and its powers from their world forever. That way, at least any ever-so-remote chance of total titan domination will be gone.
Of course, the conflict between her inherited will - which had to adjust to an unforeseen change for the first time since its implementation - and her still persevering wishes as a human being remain almost impossible to reconcile. She has to make compromises with herself. Since she can't guarantee the length of her stay in Ellipsa, she needs to at least prepare for what must be done if she is sent back to her homeworld.
Unwilling to look at the horrible methods she'd need to employ in such a scenario, she instead puts her focus on something very basic that she nevertheless neglected: Her control over her titan manifestation. If she is forced to return home, it won't do if Eren's father kills her before she can do anything to prevent history from playing out as Eren and Historia experienced it.
She feels ashamed to have outright squandered a quarter of her remaining lifetime, idly waiting for her and her people's extermination... how could she have been so naive?! But she always was, wasn't she? She bitterly remembers her idealistic 15 year old self, volunteering to inherit the Founding Titan from her uncle with a smile, confident that she wouldn't give in to her ancestors' ghosts, without even knowing of the history of the world. Stupid. Ignorant. Selfish.
She closes her eyes to try and ground herself. She's on a mission and needs to focus. As a titan, it should be a lot easier to identify safe areas for new teleport- and barrier stone installations. Having tested out beforehand that she'll still be conscious of herself and her objective while in titan form, she deems it safest to transform a good distance away from the teleport stone she just used to travel here. After all, she wouldn't want to startle someone else arriving!
Little does she know that there are still reckless people venturing into the Segments on their own despite all the warnings - and not necessarily by ground, given the many airship license holders, winged mount owners, and people able to fly either naturally or by way of animal transformation! As such, should she really be surprised when someone approaches her 13 metre tall dark-haired titan? That is, if she'll even see them coming...]
WHAT: Frieda is going through it (enormous struggle dump inside!)
WHEN: First half of April
WHERE: Abandoned Graveyard / Secret Getaway and other areas in the Seasonal Segments
WARNINGS: AoT-typical heavy topics - mention of genocide, murder, mental instability, violence, war, etc.
[Many things have been moving at a different pace for Frieda ever since she inherited the memories of her ancestors. This still holds true here in Ellipsa. On some days, she can live in the moment and enjoy spending time with her sister, the few friends she's made, and other people (neighbours, magic school classmates, vendors whose shops she's become a regular at), but on other days, everything she's learned about her homeworld's future since arriving here pulls her under and makes her ruminate for hours on end, lost between those new revelations and the painful history going back 2,000 years.
Lately, those days have become more and more common.]
1) Safe Zone: Mermaid Encounter
(OOC: Since a lot of Frieda's development is internal, I wanted to chronicle it, but as it's pure introspection, by all means skip ahead to the bottom of this humungous prompt if you'd like to!)
[Frieda's first month in Ellipsa was overshadowed by grief after she learned that in the not-too-far future, most of her family will be killed alongside herself. But eventually, her unbreakable inherited will helped her overcome that struggle. What of their deaths? All Eldians should die. It's only right if the royal family dies first. She accepted it, and with a calmer and clearer mind, she could finally focus on starting to unlock her magic and supporting the local ongoings, resolved to make the most of the time she had left.
However, her encounter with Eren, her unintended successor, made her question whether she wasn't too hasty to content herself with her fate.
Eren's resentment of how the truth was kept from the people of the Walls - doubtlessly shared by all of her subjects - made it clear that he doesn't want the Founding Titan to return into the royal family's hands, and Historia, Frieda's only surviving sibling, made it clear that she doesn't want to take it from her friend. In the future they experienced, the outside world failed to eradicate their people, "merely" breaking Wall Maria - which did cause thousands of deaths through its short- and mid-term consequences -, and everybody learned of the truths that the Reiss family hid for a century.
There will be no repeat of the 2 millennia of oppression by the Eldian Empire, given that Eren can't unlock the Founding Titan's full potential and the royal bloodline, should it regain possession of it, is prevented from doing so by the inherited vow, but the situation has nevertheless given Frieda many sleepless nights. In the face of the changed circumstances, her passive stance has started to shift.
I have to take the Founding Titan back from Eren. That's the first conclusion she arrives at. He told her that he'd never go home if he can help it, and she believes him - but what if he gets no say in the matter? What if he gets sent back to their homeworld against his will? It can happen. They both know that.
Much as the imperative to keep her people from becoming a threat to the world again dictates her decision, everything inside her recoils from it. She can't murder Eren! She couldn't murder anyone - not with her own hands, in any case. She knows all too well that all the blood her enforcers spilled within the Walls stains her hands nonetheless (and that of prior rulers' enforcers' victims, too, because she can't and won't exempt herself from bearing the sins of her ancestors). Eren is Historia's friend... What of it?, argues that reasonable voice inside of her, Historia is a disappointment for not acting in the best interest of humanity despite understanding our history. Who cares what she wants?
Frieda has to leave the apartment for longer and longer stretches of time, on occasion even hastily excusing herself to Historia to keep herself from angrily lashing out at her. Sometimes, she wants to grab and shake and even hit her for thinking that's it's acceptable for Eren to keep the Founding Titan. If you won't take it back for our family, I will! What are you even good for?! It takes all her strength to keep herself from attacking her own beloved sister like that, and when the urge eventually subsides, she's desolate each time.
However, after a while of agonising and trying to reason with different parts of herself, she manages to set aside the initial conclusion, for what is ultimately a very simple reason: If she took Eren's titan powers (most realistically by enlisting the services of an assassin, much as she does back home), he'd simply take them back from her once he'd be reborn into this world.
It's a given: Much as she doesn't want him to return home and resist the Eldian atonement plan, he doesn't want her to return and work towards its fulfillment either. For being ideological opponents, the two of them were reasonably cordial towards each other despite the palpable tension, but if she were to turn on him, he'd surely retaliate in kind. As it is, he holds the stronger position, having actual experience in using his titan's powers, and if he wanted to, he could already have taken hers. She mustn't disturb the current balance.
What can she do, then? Her silent internal struggle continues for days or weeks (she can't tell anymore, even though it's interspersed with uninterrupted stretches of normalcy and little joys - somehow!) until a realisation more bitter than anything prior dawns on her: There really is only one way to ensure that the Eldians of Paradis Island won't be a threat to the world anymore. If the outside world will fail to eradicate them, their ruler must do it.
He entire being refuses that solution. How could she possibly do that?! She can't even murder one person! All those innocent people..!! No! No!! But all Eldians must die. In her mind, she practically screams at the first king of the Walls. How dare you not finish what you started?! How dare you leave it to your successors? You couldn't do it because you loved your people? How do you think I feel?! But of course, there's only her own mind to answer her, and despite fighting against the resolution with all she has, she's drawn further down the path, exploring her practical options.
In that state, she can't bear the city. Even in quiet places, she may encounter people, and while they're not her subjects, she can't endure their innocent eyes on her, feeling beyond monstrous for what's going on in her head. As such, she takes to the safe zones in the Segments to find some solitude.
She avoids the cold Winter Segment - the watchtower is close to the city, and people pass by there with relative frequency. Likewise, the Temple of Life in the Summer Segment is intermittently frequented by people coming to gather fruits or tackle the video game simulator inside. The waters of Ellipsa have provided an embrace and escape for her ever since her arrival, and so, she can ultimately be encountered in mermaid form, resting at the bottom of the Secret Getaway's lake-pond or on the safe side of the iron fence separating the Autumn Segment's flooded graveyard from the monster-infested wilderness.
It's unlikely that anyone else would dive in either body of water, but who knows! If she doesn't encounter anyone in the depths, then at some point, when she finally feels like herself again, having battled the mental images of death and suffering away for the day, she has to exit the water, and perhaps it's then that she and the other person visiting the safe area startle each other through her sudden appearance on the water's surface. Whether underwater or above, she'll call out in the same way.]
Oh..! I'm sorry, you scared me!
[She says that as if she isn't the weird one for popping out of a place that's definitely not a designated swimming area!]
2) Unsafe Zone: Titan Encounter
(OOC: Feel free to choose the Segment, otherwise I'll use an RNG!)
[In the end, Frieda manages to stabilise herself to a degree by resolving to do what Eren decided: To never return home. It's painful to imagine that she'll never see her family - safe for Historia - and other dearly beloved people again, but she simply can't abide the thought of having to complete what her ancestor wasn't able to even begin. She'll rather follow her successor's example and remove the Founding Titan and its powers from their world forever. That way, at least any ever-so-remote chance of total titan domination will be gone.
Of course, the conflict between her inherited will - which had to adjust to an unforeseen change for the first time since its implementation - and her still persevering wishes as a human being remain almost impossible to reconcile. She has to make compromises with herself. Since she can't guarantee the length of her stay in Ellipsa, she needs to at least prepare for what must be done if she is sent back to her homeworld.
Unwilling to look at the horrible methods she'd need to employ in such a scenario, she instead puts her focus on something very basic that she nevertheless neglected: Her control over her titan manifestation. If she is forced to return home, it won't do if Eren's father kills her before she can do anything to prevent history from playing out as Eren and Historia experienced it.
She feels ashamed to have outright squandered a quarter of her remaining lifetime, idly waiting for her and her people's extermination... how could she have been so naive?! But she always was, wasn't she? She bitterly remembers her idealistic 15 year old self, volunteering to inherit the Founding Titan from her uncle with a smile, confident that she wouldn't give in to her ancestors' ghosts, without even knowing of the history of the world. Stupid. Ignorant. Selfish.
She closes her eyes to try and ground herself. She's on a mission and needs to focus. As a titan, it should be a lot easier to identify safe areas for new teleport- and barrier stone installations. Having tested out beforehand that she'll still be conscious of herself and her objective while in titan form, she deems it safest to transform a good distance away from the teleport stone she just used to travel here. After all, she wouldn't want to startle someone else arriving!
Little does she know that there are still reckless people venturing into the Segments on their own despite all the warnings - and not necessarily by ground, given the many airship license holders, winged mount owners, and people able to fly either naturally or by way of animal transformation! As such, should she really be surprised when someone approaches her 13 metre tall dark-haired titan? That is, if she'll even see them coming...]
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That last part of what Evangeline says means a lot to Frieda. She puts a hand over where her titan's heart would be - she's rather sure that it doesn't have one. Titans are strange and surprisignly fleeting meat puppets.]
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[She leans over and smooches the Titan's cheek. Mwa. She knows she can't really reciprocate it like this, but still.]
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She needs to talk to her, person to person, there's no way around it. Anything else would be unkind in more ways that one. For the moment, though, and not least to hide her embarrassment, she breaks into a run towards the Titanic Dome (not without looking back at Evangeline to invite her to follow her)!
It'll still take them a while to get there, but once they arrive, she'll find a somewhat sheltered location within reasonable human walking distance of the dome where she can let her titan body dissolve while Evangeline's potion wears off. She needs to be brave now!]
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Oh - hang on, my potion's wearing off.
[Not a moment too soon, Evangeline shrinks back to human size.]
Man, that's a weird feeling...
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As her titan's body evaporates around her, she emerges from its nape like from a cocoon, still tethered to in in several spots. Her heart is beating terribly fast - even though Evangeline signaled her understanding, she worries that she'll feel led on when she sees whom she's been dealing with. She lifts her head to look at her through the steam.]
Evangeline? It's me. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. I didn't want to use my titan powers.
[For a moment, all the reasons that pushed her to do it resurface in her mind, and she has to wrestle them back down. Now is not the time to spiral!]
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Evangeline blinks away the steam, and her eyes light up in recognition.]
Oh, Frieda! Hi! -Like I said, I know there's a lot of baggage with Titans, I totally don't blame you.
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...
You're very kind. I dragged you away from your quest and couldn't even talk to you... do you really still want to spar with me? I have to say, I'll probably make for a poor training partner, but I'd really like to learn how to fight monsters with my titan body.
[That's right. This is training to fight monsters in the Segments! No confused war prevention / genocide plot to see here!]
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I'd still like to spar with you, even if it turns into more of a combat lesson than a real match. Everybody should know how to defend themselves from monsters in case something happens, I'm happy to teach you how.
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[Evangeline is such a blessing! Frieda is stunned at how much help she's receiving from her. As her titan continues to evaporate, it's gets easier for her to pull herself free and climb off its neck. The marks on her face will remain for a while, and she's a bit damp, but otherwise, she's no worse for the wear.]
If I can do anything for you in return, you have to tell me!
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[Frieda may be from a dangerous world, but in some ways she still seems inexperienced to Evangeline.]
I mean, I wouldn't ask for a kiss as a return favor because I value your comfort more than that, but there's plenty of people who wouldn't think twice about leveraging that over you.
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That's why I say it to you. You wouldn't take advantage of me. You're a kind person.
[She hesitates a bit before continuing, not sure if she'll hurt Evangeline's feelings by implying superficiality... but in the end, she goes ahead and says it.]
Besides, you're only interested in my titan, right?
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She has no answer to that, so she responds to something else.]
Well... I have been trying to work through my trauma when it comes to humans... but you're right in that it'd be a lot less scary for me to kiss your titan form.
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Frieda takes a moment to reflect on how she really feels about Evangeline's interest in her titan (other than bewildered). Lately, she and Jade have been openly flirtarious with each other, and she can tell that he likes her as much as vice versa - even after uncovering the convoluted reasons behind her distress, which is truly remarkable -, but they're not in a relationship. Regardless, if she lets Evangeline kiss her titan, won't she be leading either or both of them on?
But Evangeline is interested in other people as well, isn't she? Frieda is sure that she's seen her flirt with others on the network. Doesn't that mean that it's not that serious to her? (Sorry, Evangeline, she's trying to compute this from a rather old-fashioned perspective... and since her memories only go back in time, they're no help either!)]
...
There's someone else whom I like. I don't want to hurt your feelings, so I have to let you know. That being said, my titan isn't really "me", and if you really think it's beautiful, I'm happy for you to kiss it - it just won't be able to kiss you back!
[It can't move its lips! It can open its mouth, but that's neither here not there, is it?]
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[Equally, Evangeline has to be clear right away about what she's here for.]
If you really don't mind, then I'll for sure give it a kiss. It wouldn't be the first entity I've kissed that couldn't kiss back - this one at least has lips and a mouth, that's a step up.
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Thank you.
[For understanding her, for sharing her own position honestly - it has to be hard to talk about or even just allude to sometimes, or at least it surely was at some point before she got comfortable with it! -, and for complimenting her.]
You have to tell me, though... what being did you kiss that didn't have a mouth?
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Let's see, there's actually been a couple... One was called Fragment of the Universe and was kind of a scribbly tentacle-y thing with a heart shape for a head?
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I don't assume you have a photo of it?
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[She opens her hammerspace purse and pulls out a binder full of managerial notes and photos of Abnormalities, which she flips through until she finds Fragment of the Universe to show her.]
Aren't they cute?
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[She's really not trying to be rude - how hypocritical would that be? -, but the Abnormality is hard for her to even parse as something that exists on the same plane of existence as humans!]
The heart shapes look friendly!
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[They sometimes drive humans insane, but they don't mean to.]
Titans are really pretty close to humans in appearance, at least from my perspective.
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[It really takes stepping away from one's own realm of experience to see how relative monstrousness can be!]
Can I see some of the others? I'd like to learn more about them.
[Hearing about more dangerous creatures won't undo the harm the titans caused in her world, but maybe it'll allow her to feel more "normal" about her own. Besides, now that Evangeline knows that it's her, there's no more rush with the training, and they found such a nice spot under these small trees! They might as well rest here a little bit longer.]
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[She flips pages until she stops at a picture of... something. Hopefully Frieda doesn't have any issue with many, many eyes and some body horror, because only Evangeline thinks Beauty and the Beast is cute.]
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You two have to get along really well! Is it easy to communicate with each other? The Abnormalities are all so different; I don't assume that all of them can talk?
[She glances at the flower in her friend's hair - is it dried, or does somehow stay fresh without wilting?]
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Some Abnormalities talk and some of them don't. Beauty and the Beast is pretty easy to read, though. She spends a lot of time crying and I felt awful for her.
[Hence trying to cheer her up (with sex).]
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...
Do you know what makes her so sad?
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