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seasonsrpg2024-04-01 06:04 pm
urtitan) wrote in seasonsrpg2024-04-01 06:04 pm
Tarot: The World (Reversed)
WHO: Frieda Reiss
WHAT: Frieda is going through it (enormous struggle dump inside!)
WHEN: First half of April
WHERE: Abandoned Graveyard / Secret Getaway and other areas in the Seasonal Segments
WARNINGS: AoT-typical heavy topics - mention of genocide, murder, mental instability, violence, war, etc.
[Many things have been moving at a different pace for Frieda ever since she inherited the memories of her ancestors. This still holds true here in Ellipsa. On some days, she can live in the moment and enjoy spending time with her sister, the few friends she's made, and other people (neighbours, magic school classmates, vendors whose shops she's become a regular at), but on other days, everything she's learned about her homeworld's future since arriving here pulls her under and makes her ruminate for hours on end, lost between those new revelations and the painful history going back 2,000 years.
Lately, those days have become more and more common.]
1) Safe Zone: Mermaid Encounter
(OOC: Since a lot of Frieda's development is internal, I wanted to chronicle it, but as it's pure introspection, by all means skip ahead to the bottom of this humungous prompt if you'd like to!)
[Frieda's first month in Ellipsa was overshadowed by grief after she learned that in the not-too-far future, most of her family will be killed alongside herself. But eventually, her unbreakable inherited will helped her overcome that struggle. What of their deaths? All Eldians should die. It's only right if the royal family dies first. She accepted it, and with a calmer and clearer mind, she could finally focus on starting to unlock her magic and supporting the local ongoings, resolved to make the most of the time she had left.
However, her encounter with Eren, her unintended successor, made her question whether she wasn't too hasty to content herself with her fate.
Eren's resentment of how the truth was kept from the people of the Walls - doubtlessly shared by all of her subjects - made it clear that he doesn't want the Founding Titan to return into the royal family's hands, and Historia, Frieda's only surviving sibling, made it clear that she doesn't want to take it from her friend. In the future they experienced, the outside world failed to eradicate their people, "merely" breaking Wall Maria - which did cause thousands of deaths through its short- and mid-term consequences -, and everybody learned of the truths that the Reiss family hid for a century.
There will be no repeat of the 2 millennia of oppression by the Eldian Empire, given that Eren can't unlock the Founding Titan's full potential and the royal bloodline, should it regain possession of it, is prevented from doing so by the inherited vow, but the situation has nevertheless given Frieda many sleepless nights. In the face of the changed circumstances, her passive stance has started to shift.
I have to take the Founding Titan back from Eren. That's the first conclusion she arrives at. He told her that he'd never go home if he can help it, and she believes him - but what if he gets no say in the matter? What if he gets sent back to their homeworld against his will? It can happen. They both know that.
Much as the imperative to keep her people from becoming a threat to the world again dictates her decision, everything inside her recoils from it. She can't murder Eren! She couldn't murder anyone - not with her own hands, in any case. She knows all too well that all the blood her enforcers spilled within the Walls stains her hands nonetheless (and that of prior rulers' enforcers' victims, too, because she can't and won't exempt herself from bearing the sins of her ancestors). Eren is Historia's friend... What of it?, argues that reasonable voice inside of her, Historia is a disappointment for not acting in the best interest of humanity despite understanding our history. Who cares what she wants?
Frieda has to leave the apartment for longer and longer stretches of time, on occasion even hastily excusing herself to Historia to keep herself from angrily lashing out at her. Sometimes, she wants to grab and shake and even hit her for thinking that's it's acceptable for Eren to keep the Founding Titan. If you won't take it back for our family, I will! What are you even good for?! It takes all her strength to keep herself from attacking her own beloved sister like that, and when the urge eventually subsides, she's desolate each time.
However, after a while of agonising and trying to reason with different parts of herself, she manages to set aside the initial conclusion, for what is ultimately a very simple reason: If she took Eren's titan powers (most realistically by enlisting the services of an assassin, much as she does back home), he'd simply take them back from her once he'd be reborn into this world.
It's a given: Much as she doesn't want him to return home and resist the Eldian atonement plan, he doesn't want her to return and work towards its fulfillment either. For being ideological opponents, the two of them were reasonably cordial towards each other despite the palpable tension, but if she were to turn on him, he'd surely retaliate in kind. As it is, he holds the stronger position, having actual experience in using his titan's powers, and if he wanted to, he could already have taken hers. She mustn't disturb the current balance.
What can she do, then? Her silent internal struggle continues for days or weeks (she can't tell anymore, even though it's interspersed with uninterrupted stretches of normalcy and little joys - somehow!) until a realisation more bitter than anything prior dawns on her: There really is only one way to ensure that the Eldians of Paradis Island won't be a threat to the world anymore. If the outside world will fail to eradicate them, their ruler must do it.
He entire being refuses that solution. How could she possibly do that?! She can't even murder one person! All those innocent people..!! No! No!! But all Eldians must die. In her mind, she practically screams at the first king of the Walls. How dare you not finish what you started?! How dare you leave it to your successors? You couldn't do it because you loved your people? How do you think I feel?! But of course, there's only her own mind to answer her, and despite fighting against the resolution with all she has, she's drawn further down the path, exploring her practical options.
In that state, she can't bear the city. Even in quiet places, she may encounter people, and while they're not her subjects, she can't endure their innocent eyes on her, feeling beyond monstrous for what's going on in her head. As such, she takes to the safe zones in the Segments to find some solitude.
She avoids the cold Winter Segment - the watchtower is close to the city, and people pass by there with relative frequency. Likewise, the Temple of Life in the Summer Segment is intermittently frequented by people coming to gather fruits or tackle the video game simulator inside. The waters of Ellipsa have provided an embrace and escape for her ever since her arrival, and so, she can ultimately be encountered in mermaid form, resting at the bottom of the Secret Getaway's lake-pond or on the safe side of the iron fence separating the Autumn Segment's flooded graveyard from the monster-infested wilderness.
It's unlikely that anyone else would dive in either body of water, but who knows! If she doesn't encounter anyone in the depths, then at some point, when she finally feels like herself again, having battled the mental images of death and suffering away for the day, she has to exit the water, and perhaps it's then that she and the other person visiting the safe area startle each other through her sudden appearance on the water's surface. Whether underwater or above, she'll call out in the same way.]
Oh..! I'm sorry, you scared me!
[She says that as if she isn't the weird one for popping out of a place that's definitely not a designated swimming area!]
2) Unsafe Zone: Titan Encounter
(OOC: Feel free to choose the Segment, otherwise I'll use an RNG!)
[In the end, Frieda manages to stabilise herself to a degree by resolving to do what Eren decided: To never return home. It's painful to imagine that she'll never see her family - safe for Historia - and other dearly beloved people again, but she simply can't abide the thought of having to complete what her ancestor wasn't able to even begin. She'll rather follow her successor's example and remove the Founding Titan and its powers from their world forever. That way, at least any ever-so-remote chance of total titan domination will be gone.
Of course, the conflict between her inherited will - which had to adjust to an unforeseen change for the first time since its implementation - and her still persevering wishes as a human being remain almost impossible to reconcile. She has to make compromises with herself. Since she can't guarantee the length of her stay in Ellipsa, she needs to at least prepare for what must be done if she is sent back to her homeworld.
Unwilling to look at the horrible methods she'd need to employ in such a scenario, she instead puts her focus on something very basic that she nevertheless neglected: Her control over her titan manifestation. If she is forced to return home, it won't do if Eren's father kills her before she can do anything to prevent history from playing out as Eren and Historia experienced it.
She feels ashamed to have outright squandered a quarter of her remaining lifetime, idly waiting for her and her people's extermination... how could she have been so naive?! But she always was, wasn't she? She bitterly remembers her idealistic 15 year old self, volunteering to inherit the Founding Titan from her uncle with a smile, confident that she wouldn't give in to her ancestors' ghosts, without even knowing of the history of the world. Stupid. Ignorant. Selfish.
She closes her eyes to try and ground herself. She's on a mission and needs to focus. As a titan, it should be a lot easier to identify safe areas for new teleport- and barrier stone installations. Having tested out beforehand that she'll still be conscious of herself and her objective while in titan form, she deems it safest to transform a good distance away from the teleport stone she just used to travel here. After all, she wouldn't want to startle someone else arriving!
Little does she know that there are still reckless people venturing into the Segments on their own despite all the warnings - and not necessarily by ground, given the many airship license holders, winged mount owners, and people able to fly either naturally or by way of animal transformation! As such, should she really be surprised when someone approaches her 13 metre tall dark-haired titan? That is, if she'll even see them coming...]
WHAT: Frieda is going through it (enormous struggle dump inside!)
WHEN: First half of April
WHERE: Abandoned Graveyard / Secret Getaway and other areas in the Seasonal Segments
WARNINGS: AoT-typical heavy topics - mention of genocide, murder, mental instability, violence, war, etc.
[Many things have been moving at a different pace for Frieda ever since she inherited the memories of her ancestors. This still holds true here in Ellipsa. On some days, she can live in the moment and enjoy spending time with her sister, the few friends she's made, and other people (neighbours, magic school classmates, vendors whose shops she's become a regular at), but on other days, everything she's learned about her homeworld's future since arriving here pulls her under and makes her ruminate for hours on end, lost between those new revelations and the painful history going back 2,000 years.
Lately, those days have become more and more common.]
1) Safe Zone: Mermaid Encounter
(OOC: Since a lot of Frieda's development is internal, I wanted to chronicle it, but as it's pure introspection, by all means skip ahead to the bottom of this humungous prompt if you'd like to!)
[Frieda's first month in Ellipsa was overshadowed by grief after she learned that in the not-too-far future, most of her family will be killed alongside herself. But eventually, her unbreakable inherited will helped her overcome that struggle. What of their deaths? All Eldians should die. It's only right if the royal family dies first. She accepted it, and with a calmer and clearer mind, she could finally focus on starting to unlock her magic and supporting the local ongoings, resolved to make the most of the time she had left.
However, her encounter with Eren, her unintended successor, made her question whether she wasn't too hasty to content herself with her fate.
Eren's resentment of how the truth was kept from the people of the Walls - doubtlessly shared by all of her subjects - made it clear that he doesn't want the Founding Titan to return into the royal family's hands, and Historia, Frieda's only surviving sibling, made it clear that she doesn't want to take it from her friend. In the future they experienced, the outside world failed to eradicate their people, "merely" breaking Wall Maria - which did cause thousands of deaths through its short- and mid-term consequences -, and everybody learned of the truths that the Reiss family hid for a century.
There will be no repeat of the 2 millennia of oppression by the Eldian Empire, given that Eren can't unlock the Founding Titan's full potential and the royal bloodline, should it regain possession of it, is prevented from doing so by the inherited vow, but the situation has nevertheless given Frieda many sleepless nights. In the face of the changed circumstances, her passive stance has started to shift.
I have to take the Founding Titan back from Eren. That's the first conclusion she arrives at. He told her that he'd never go home if he can help it, and she believes him - but what if he gets no say in the matter? What if he gets sent back to their homeworld against his will? It can happen. They both know that.
Much as the imperative to keep her people from becoming a threat to the world again dictates her decision, everything inside her recoils from it. She can't murder Eren! She couldn't murder anyone - not with her own hands, in any case. She knows all too well that all the blood her enforcers spilled within the Walls stains her hands nonetheless (and that of prior rulers' enforcers' victims, too, because she can't and won't exempt herself from bearing the sins of her ancestors). Eren is Historia's friend... What of it?, argues that reasonable voice inside of her, Historia is a disappointment for not acting in the best interest of humanity despite understanding our history. Who cares what she wants?
Frieda has to leave the apartment for longer and longer stretches of time, on occasion even hastily excusing herself to Historia to keep herself from angrily lashing out at her. Sometimes, she wants to grab and shake and even hit her for thinking that's it's acceptable for Eren to keep the Founding Titan. If you won't take it back for our family, I will! What are you even good for?! It takes all her strength to keep herself from attacking her own beloved sister like that, and when the urge eventually subsides, she's desolate each time.
However, after a while of agonising and trying to reason with different parts of herself, she manages to set aside the initial conclusion, for what is ultimately a very simple reason: If she took Eren's titan powers (most realistically by enlisting the services of an assassin, much as she does back home), he'd simply take them back from her once he'd be reborn into this world.
It's a given: Much as she doesn't want him to return home and resist the Eldian atonement plan, he doesn't want her to return and work towards its fulfillment either. For being ideological opponents, the two of them were reasonably cordial towards each other despite the palpable tension, but if she were to turn on him, he'd surely retaliate in kind. As it is, he holds the stronger position, having actual experience in using his titan's powers, and if he wanted to, he could already have taken hers. She mustn't disturb the current balance.
What can she do, then? Her silent internal struggle continues for days or weeks (she can't tell anymore, even though it's interspersed with uninterrupted stretches of normalcy and little joys - somehow!) until a realisation more bitter than anything prior dawns on her: There really is only one way to ensure that the Eldians of Paradis Island won't be a threat to the world anymore. If the outside world will fail to eradicate them, their ruler must do it.
He entire being refuses that solution. How could she possibly do that?! She can't even murder one person! All those innocent people..!! No! No!! But all Eldians must die. In her mind, she practically screams at the first king of the Walls. How dare you not finish what you started?! How dare you leave it to your successors? You couldn't do it because you loved your people? How do you think I feel?! But of course, there's only her own mind to answer her, and despite fighting against the resolution with all she has, she's drawn further down the path, exploring her practical options.
In that state, she can't bear the city. Even in quiet places, she may encounter people, and while they're not her subjects, she can't endure their innocent eyes on her, feeling beyond monstrous for what's going on in her head. As such, she takes to the safe zones in the Segments to find some solitude.
She avoids the cold Winter Segment - the watchtower is close to the city, and people pass by there with relative frequency. Likewise, the Temple of Life in the Summer Segment is intermittently frequented by people coming to gather fruits or tackle the video game simulator inside. The waters of Ellipsa have provided an embrace and escape for her ever since her arrival, and so, she can ultimately be encountered in mermaid form, resting at the bottom of the Secret Getaway's lake-pond or on the safe side of the iron fence separating the Autumn Segment's flooded graveyard from the monster-infested wilderness.
It's unlikely that anyone else would dive in either body of water, but who knows! If she doesn't encounter anyone in the depths, then at some point, when she finally feels like herself again, having battled the mental images of death and suffering away for the day, she has to exit the water, and perhaps it's then that she and the other person visiting the safe area startle each other through her sudden appearance on the water's surface. Whether underwater or above, she'll call out in the same way.]
Oh..! I'm sorry, you scared me!
[She says that as if she isn't the weird one for popping out of a place that's definitely not a designated swimming area!]
2) Unsafe Zone: Titan Encounter
(OOC: Feel free to choose the Segment, otherwise I'll use an RNG!)
[In the end, Frieda manages to stabilise herself to a degree by resolving to do what Eren decided: To never return home. It's painful to imagine that she'll never see her family - safe for Historia - and other dearly beloved people again, but she simply can't abide the thought of having to complete what her ancestor wasn't able to even begin. She'll rather follow her successor's example and remove the Founding Titan and its powers from their world forever. That way, at least any ever-so-remote chance of total titan domination will be gone.
Of course, the conflict between her inherited will - which had to adjust to an unforeseen change for the first time since its implementation - and her still persevering wishes as a human being remain almost impossible to reconcile. She has to make compromises with herself. Since she can't guarantee the length of her stay in Ellipsa, she needs to at least prepare for what must be done if she is sent back to her homeworld.
Unwilling to look at the horrible methods she'd need to employ in such a scenario, she instead puts her focus on something very basic that she nevertheless neglected: Her control over her titan manifestation. If she is forced to return home, it won't do if Eren's father kills her before she can do anything to prevent history from playing out as Eren and Historia experienced it.
She feels ashamed to have outright squandered a quarter of her remaining lifetime, idly waiting for her and her people's extermination... how could she have been so naive?! But she always was, wasn't she? She bitterly remembers her idealistic 15 year old self, volunteering to inherit the Founding Titan from her uncle with a smile, confident that she wouldn't give in to her ancestors' ghosts, without even knowing of the history of the world. Stupid. Ignorant. Selfish.
She closes her eyes to try and ground herself. She's on a mission and needs to focus. As a titan, it should be a lot easier to identify safe areas for new teleport- and barrier stone installations. Having tested out beforehand that she'll still be conscious of herself and her objective while in titan form, she deems it safest to transform a good distance away from the teleport stone she just used to travel here. After all, she wouldn't want to startle someone else arriving!
Little does she know that there are still reckless people venturing into the Segments on their own despite all the warnings - and not necessarily by ground, given the many airship license holders, winged mount owners, and people able to fly either naturally or by way of animal transformation! As such, should she really be surprised when someone approaches her 13 metre tall dark-haired titan? That is, if she'll even see them coming...]
no subject
When Jade blocks her path, she's quite tempted to smack him with her tail just like he taught her to - but that'd hardly be in line with her vow of non-aggression! She clenches her fists in futile anger.]
What are you implying?! I have said what I wanted to say! Make way for me!
no subject
Now, now. None of that. You know, I have no doubts you've encountered my brother's signature spell- "Bind the Heart" during your time with him. He tends to be rather vocal about it- but you know nothing of mine.
By design of course, the fewer that know, the stronger it is.
[After all, if one knew he could compel the truth from them, they would no doubt be more on guard around him, thus making the spell's chances of success lessen.]
You have nothing to fear, I mean you no harm- now look into my eye. Shock the Heart.
[The spell would leave her very briefly dizzy as the magic invaded her mind, but it would not outright control her. There would be no shift in personality as much as it removed the filter that kept one's mouth shut, it brought forth a compulsion to speak frankly. It did tend to work better in those going through some sort of emotional turmoil, be it fear, anger, or anything else. Even if Frieda had some resistance to his magic, her current penchant for angry tirades would have likely made the spell succeed.
And then the smile was gone, his expression stern. As amusing as her shift in personality was, it was becoming redundant and overstaying its welcome.]
Now, lets try this again: What is going on, and what has Frieda so changed?
no subject
...
I'm the same Frieda you've always known. I've just been trying to hide these mood shifts from you. They come from the vow of non-aggression towards the other races that King Karl passed on down his lineage along with the Founding Titan. I agree with him - I don't want us Eldians to harm anyone ever again -, but I don't want our people to suffer, either.
[It really is that simple, boiled down to the basics, but how hard can it be to express her struggle this succinctly when she's adrift like a buoy in the conflicting emotions and overwhelming decisions that need to be made!]
no subject
[That would explain why she never made use of her natural defense, even to save her self. A waste in his opinion, but if something was preventing her from doing so... that certainly added a new layer of things.]
Can you act against this vow? Do you truly agree with him, or are you compelled to?
[...and he wondered just how strong this vow was- already it was conflicting itself. She wanted to exterminate her own kind, but also she didn't. Perhaps he could... poke a few more holes in it while she was in this state.
He would only be able to do this once, so he had better make it count.]
no subject
...
After I understood our history and saw what suffering we brought to the world, I understood why King Karl acted in this way. His will compels me, like my predecessors. It made me accept that the end would come for all of us, a repayment for our sins.
[Being forced to explain it all clearly, separating out which viewpoint is inherently hers and which her ancestor's, makes her agitation subside, giving way to what seems like exhaustion.]
But I recently learned that most of my people will survive and learn about the truth - up until now, I was the only person in our nation who knew. King Karl erased everybody else's memories when he exiled them to our island a hundred years ago. That revelation... agitated me, or rather, it shook my vow. It's my duty to the world to ensure that the Eldians won't rise as a threat again.
no subject
Alright this next bit was going to be tricky because the only way to trip this whole thing up was to pretend like he had a strong sense of morality. So he was going to have to do a looooot of bullshitting.]
Have you considered that perhaps the vow was flawed? How can a people learn from the past if they have forgotten it?
no subject
I have considered that. I think that the people living in the Walls today are innocent.
[She struggles for a moment, frowning and closing her eyes before her expression smooths out again and she reopens them.]
They're sinners. No one ever atoned for Eldia's crimes, and its desdendants today are only alive by the mercy of the world that granted them an extension. Every Eldian is a potential titan, a potential threat.
...
I-- I hate King Karl for not having everyone executed back then. Now, I have to...
no subject
Doesn't this very same vow prevent them from atoning? They have no memory of their history, and they've never been able to put their natural ability to use for the betterment of all.
So wouldn't it make more sense to alter your course ahead, seeing as the old way has clearly failed?
[He releases his hold on her face seeing as she was no longer struggling against him.]
If this vow was truly for the benefit of all, then surely it must be able to adapt should it prove to be faulty? After all, times change.
no subject
The point isn't the individuals' atonement, but the atonement of the Eldian race. When I say "atonement", I mean "extermination". The only way to atone for our sins is to accept our rightful fate of disappearing from our world.
[This sure is an interpretation of 'atonement'... but at least, this way the plan makes sense?]
no subject
I would hardly call that atonement, and I would think any dictionary you pick up would agree with me. That sounds more like wasting space until you die. If you were all truly so terrible then why did this "Karl" not simply do away with your kind then and there?
Was it his conviction that was weak? Or was it just him?
no subject
[That really has become Frieda's personal breaking point, it seems. King Karl's vow drives her to desperately seek a way to avert a renewed Eldian threat, but it'd never have gotten to this point if only he'd seen his conviction through! "Grant us some time of peace in our secluded paradise"... enough time for him to pass on!!]
Now I, who was born because of his weakness, have to be stronger than he was!
[How the hell is she supposed to do that?! King Karl showed great strength of character in surrendering his crown and liberating the oppressed, but even he couldn't condemn his people to death in the moment!]
no subject
[And he lets the spell fade, he could feel a peculiar stinging in his eye and suspected drawing the truth from a psyche as loaded as hers was making him use more magic than usual to get his answers. A shame, he had many more things to ask, but at least she did seem to be herself again.
He pulled her into a hug, she seemed to need it even if she was the biggest source of her own problem right now. Well, more aptly, her half-brained ancestor was but that was too fine of a line to walk now.]
Welcome back, Frieda. You had me worried.
no subject
...
I was here the whole time. It'll always be like this. Do you understand?
[Putting up with her is a lot to ask, and she won't be clingy about it - letting him choose to put distance between them if he so wishes is the least she can do. But it pains her that he, who's become her closest friend and whom she's attracted to on top of that, saw her in a completely unhinged state and heard all of her ranting and raving.]
no subject
[He just continues to hold her, with no sign that he's got any intention to move before she's ready. He hardly seems bothered by the ordeal, aside from perhaps being a little sheepish about breaking his signature spell out on her. But only a little, he feels rather justified about it on the whole.]
My apologies for using my magic on you in such a way, "Shock the Heart" is usually a spell I only use as a last resort. You wont be effected by it again, as it only works once on a person... I hope that puts you at ease going forward.
no subject
I'm glad you did. It wasn't pleasant, but I don't know if I'd have been able to explain what's going on otherwise.
...
I'm sorry about the way things are.
no subject
There is nothing for you to apologize for.
[He hugged her a little tighter for just a moment, an affectionate squeeze (though not like his brother's, granted what his infamous "squeeze" actually was changed along with his moods), and rests his head against hers.]
I cannot solve your woes, as much as I wish I could, but we are surrounded by a wealth of new knowledge from a number of different worlds. Perhaps if we keep our eyes out a solution will present itself.
[What he actually means is "until I find a way to shut the old man in your head up", he was curious as to what Frieda would be like without the nagging of her silly vow. She was full of endless surprises after all. Though he did not believe her situation was avoidable, but he knew that fretting over it here was a waste of energy. So he might as well give her some hope instead... even if it was built on a lie. He was expertly good at those.]
no subject
Having willingly sacrificed most of her lifetime already, her own survival is only a priority to Frieda insofar as she can't let the Founding Titan fall into the hands of anyone who'll misuse it - and in moments where her mind is solely her own, she'll hardly even care about Eren ending up with it, given his intent to remove it from their world. At least that way, her people will have a fighting chance. (Of course, whenever her vow takes stronger control again, that same prospect will be odious to her.)]
Thank you, Jade. Thank you.